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please tell me you'll help me [Mar. 21st, 2005|01:47 am]


I don't know if this can trigger so it's going behind lj cut incase. o.O

Okay so I totally messed up my friends and my relationship. Cause I have been having these really bad out bursts. And I told her about the out bursts and then I told her that with how they were I could almost feel them coming on and everything. I've not been feeling good and well when I'm sick I get even worse with the depression and feel like noone cares, and also feel like alot of my friends don't ever want to have anything to do with me. I have had a very hard life and I know thats no excuse. I really want help though. But I'm scared of counselors in the real world and always have been. So I'm just asking if any of you can tell me away I can fix myself without having to be scared and walk into one of those buildings with those old guys or old women and tell them about my problems. I've been to counseling before and all they wanted to do was talk about me being molested when I was a child. I really just don't like talking about that all the time. And I'm so scared of those people.

I want my friends back, and I know that bettering myself and the way I act is the only real way I can do that. So please, just help me in someway give me some kind of advice on how I can better myself. x.x