||[Feb. 20th, 2006|05:26 pm]
I'm really worried. I'm in love with my best friend and boyfriend of 4 months, but I find him so annoying and erratic! We went out for 2 months, then we broke up because I was going through a depression and distancing myself from all but my closest, and he wasn't one of them yet. We flirted more and more over the months, and wound up together again.
We've been through heaps together, and he says he "worships" me, and we understand everything about each other. We were each other's first time and it was perfect. We have fun and know each other very well. He's reliable, calls often, has a wonderful mother who is my good friend, and is anything other than a commitment-phobe.
But the thing is, one second (literally) he'll be subtle, smooth, sweet, funny and gentle, the next second he'll be making retarded jokes and being as obnoxious as possible because he thinks "its funny" to annoy me, and trying to be "random". He calls me too often without anything to say, and manipulates me with his jealousy. I think he's obsessed with me. We also have nothing in common interests-wise. He won't leave me alone with my friends at school, even if he's not being pushy, when I'd like some actual bonding time with them, which I can't do at all while he's there for some reason.
At the same time, my ex-boyfriend is being flirty, and while I'm not interested, we do sort of flirt. We have everything in common, and talk non-stop, even though our personality types, religion, up-bringing, age, location, and life-goals are drastically, badly different. He's my second best friend.
I guess, with my boyfriend, we have love, and understanding, but with my ex/bestie, we have fun and similarites. My boyfriend's dependable, but immature, and my ex is fun, but has no future whatsoever.